Extracted from
“A NATURAL HISTORY OF LOVE”
by  Diane Ackerman

WEDDING 
     The Anglo-Saxon word wedd meant the groom’s pledge to marry but also the purchase money or its equivalent in horses, cattle or other property, which the groom paid to the bride’s father. So a wedding was literally the purchase of a woman for breeding purposes, involving an element of risk.

ENGAGEMENT RING
     We have record of engagement rings being given in Anglo-Saxon days, but no doublt they have a much longer history. Circles or rings have always symbolized eternity. So it’s not surprising that rings were given to show favor between two people, seal agreements  or symbolize something sacred. It was the medieval Italians who favored a diamond ring, because of their superstition that diamonds were created from the flames of love.

WEDDING RINGS
     Wedding rings are very ancient indeed and was probably made of iron or a strong metal, so that it didn’t break, which would have seemed a disastous omen. The Romans felt a small artery -- the vain of love -- ran from the third finger to the heart and that wearing a ring on that finger joined the couple’s hearts and destiny.

BEST MAN
     Our western idea of a love marriage occurred late in human history. The first marrages were by capture. When a man saw a woman he desired (usually from another tribe), he took her by force. To kidnap a bride, a groom enlisted the aid of a warrior friend, his best man. Capture marriage dominated the prehistoric world, and it was even legal in England until the 13th century.

BRIDAL SHOWERS
     Bridal showers also were meant to restate bonds and to perpare the bride with gifts and moral support for the marriage. However, the term “shower” itself is fairly recent. In the 1890’s, a woman held a party for her newly engaged friend, at which a Japanese parasol filled with little gifts was turned upside down over the bride-to-be’s head, producing a shower of presents. When word of this hit the fashion pages, it so charmed readers that everyone wanted to have a “shower” of her own. 

BRIDAL PARTY
     The idea of the bridal party has many orgins, but one dated to the Anglo-Saxons. A man planning to capture a woman needed help from his pals, otherwise known as the “bridesman” or “brideknight”. The brideknights made sure she got to the church and the groom’s house afterward. The bride had her own “bridesmaids” and a married “brides woman” to help her.

STAG PARTY
     The soldiers of ancient Sparta first staged stag parties. A groom would feast with his male friends on the night before the wedding (they probably provided the Spartan version of strippers and woman leaping out of cakes). In this rite of passage, the function of the party was to say goodbye to bachelorhood while swearing allegiance to one’s comrades.

WEDDING DRESS
     The white wedding dress was popularized by Anne of Brittany, who wore one for her marriage to Louis XII of France in 1499. Before that, a woman just wore her best dress. In biblical days, blue -- not white -- symbolized purity, and both bride and groom wore a blue band around the bottom of their wedding attire, which is where the idea of the bride’s wearing something blue comes from.

VEIL
     The bride’s veil, which hides her beauty behind a smokescreen of fabric, is a sign of modesty and submission. She is her husband’s ransom; he alone gets to lift her veil. 

BRIDAL BOUQUETS
     Brides have always worn or carried flowers, though not bridal bouquets. In the 14th century, when it was popular for the bride to toss her garter to men (re-enacting how a lady would toss her ribbon or colors to their knight), things sometimes got out of hand, drunken guests trying to remove the garter ahead of time. Tossing her bouquet was less worrisome.

GIVING AWAY THE BRIDE
     Often the groom’s family told him to marry, and they rarely let him see his prospective bride, because if he didn’t like her looks, he might balk. The father gave the bride away to the buyer, who lifted her veil to see her face for the first time.

FLOWER GIRL
     The flower girl is a medieval addition to the ceremony. Originally she carried wheat to symbolize fertility. The ring bearer also apeared in the middle ages -- perhaps for symmetry -- and was a young page. 

WEDDING CAKE
     It became the custom for English newly-weds to pile up small cakes, one upon the other, as high as could and then try to kiss over them without knocking the tower down. If they succeeded, it meant a lifetime of prosperity. These simple cakes evoled into the high art of the wedding cake.

HONEYMOON
     We think of the honeymoon as romantic days of sensual bliss. But the original honeymoon had a more somber purpose. Alter a groom captured or bought a bride, he disappeared with her for awhile, so that her family couldn’t rescue her. By the time they found the couple, the bride would already be pregnant.

SHOES, CARS
     Tying shoes to the car bumper seems an odd custom, but it reflects the symbolic power that shoes had for ancient cultures. The Egyptians exchanged sandals when they exchanged property or authority, so a father would give the groom his daughter’s sandal to show that she was now his care. This was also the custom in Anglo-Saxon marriages, and the groom tapped the bride lightly on the head with the shoe to impress upon her his authority; in later days, people began throwing shoes at the couple and finally, in the automobile age, tying shoes to the car.

MARRIAGE RECORDS
according to GUINNESS

     Longest marriage lasted 86 years, between Sir Temulji Nairman and Lady Nairman, who were wed in 1853 when they were 5 years old.

     Longest engagement was between Octavio Guillen and Adriana Martinez of Mexico, who took 67 years to make sure they were right for each other.

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